


Tomorrow

by Balthuza



Category: Shards of the Sun
Genre: Gen, Nil's a fountain at this point, So much angst, poor bby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 14:17:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9824201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Balthuza/pseuds/Balthuza
Summary: Nil almost cries by the table.





	

Nil almost cries by the table. He doesn’t but it’s a close call and all he can do is to concentrate and try to coin his fear and despair into anger, into something manageable. He tries and feels like drowning, so going out and drowning in wine instead seems like a good idea. 

They’re by his door when he tries to leave unnoticed, and he won’t, can’t, say no to them, not when he so desperately wants them here.

He does not intend to cry. He knows they’re trying to make it better, but all he can think when they laugh and tell the story about being silly and playing around in snow, like children is:  _ I will never do that with them if they die down there, I will never hit Fyr with a snowball when his hair give him away, I will never laugh when Flick’s stupid strategies work against her, I will never teach Cyn how to build a snowfort so we can win _ and he can’t help himself.

In the end he packs all his fears into a little box in the corner of his head and takes a deep breath. Fyr is still holding his leg, and Cyn lets him cry on her shoulder and, for now, they are here. It has to be enough. He decides to ignore that the morning will come at all, ignore the little voice that says  _ at least this time it is not your fault _ that does not help at all and the other that keeps repeating  _ I’m not supposed to be the one who buries my family, I should be the first  _ that helps even less and tries to smile.


End file.
